(Originally published on LinkedIn in June 2022)
Okay, yes, that is a picture from my wedding day. Before you get confused (like I have in recent days) if this is Facebook or LinkedIn , and you are seeing another post of a guy/gal dedicating their success and growth to their partners…. Stay with me… this is post celebrating my partner, former partner –
This, however, is not a post about a successful marriage, but that of a successful divorce and it was one the best things that ever happened to me.
I was a 29 year old boy in this picture, great job etc etc, but had zero skills in maintaining a relationship , and perhaps not my maturest (yes it’s a word!) self (my close friends would say the only thing that’s changed for me is the gray hair, love you too guys). So, with the odds of winning the powerball better, my marriage was headed towards the divorce it fruitioned into. I’ll spare you all the therapy notes.
Close to 8 years after the divorce, I find myself – my happiest self! The divorce was a huge factor that led me on to my inner journey, without which I wouldn’t have the faculty to joke about one of the most traumatic incidents of my life. So, yes, I do want to thank my wife, well, my ex-wife for setting me free. I always did and still believe she is one of the loveliest women on this earth and is a dear friend of mine, still.
So, let me clarify 2 things before I proceed –
This is my no means, an effort to make light of divorces, which many people go through. I’ve always said, divorce, like a job in management consulting, takes away a part of your life which you will never get back. I know both from experience.
Also, this is not a jab at all the ‘Happy Anniversary’ Facebook, I mean LinkedIn posts out there. I have a lot of happily married friends, and I’m delighted to be a part of your public celebration.
This post is meant to be a shot in the arm for all the single, divorced, estranged/ difficult relationship, separated fellow kind, who might be led to feel incomplete with all the happy married faces on social media. I’m saying this, cause just like I would feel craving for a vacation when I see friends (married or not) vacationing in Bora Bora , had I not done my inner work, I would have felt the lack of dedicating my success to someone (no mom, this is not about you!).
So, I want to celebrate all of us who might not have the option to celebrate life with a partner – I firmly believe, rather know, that we are full, we are whole, we are complete as we are.
Love y’all – raja
PS: I don’t know what will trend next on LinkedIn – Thread ceremony, naming ceremonies, Bar Mitzvahs..rest assured, I will be back, telling me, you ,us how awesome we are even if you can’t celebrate any of these either! Stay tuned!
6th July, 2022